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Tempest in a Teapot Begins Candidates’ Uneasy Courtship of Women

Dear Democrats, We don't need your "help." Thanks, anyway. Sincerely, Women

[Editor's Note: This is the first installment of "Patch Back," a new opinion column written in response to our .]

Microphone on, insert foot. Sleep, rinse, repeat.

So began the latest tempest in a teapot, with Democratic adviser and President Obama administration supporter Hilary Rosen proclaiming that Ann Romney, wife of Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, hadn’t worked a day in her life.

Never mind that any reasonable adult knows that raising five children and keeping a home is tiring labor, requiring endless reserves of energy, mental stamina and resourcefulness, regardless of income. Never mind that extraordinarily successful men often point to their wives—employed or not—as the biggest reason they were able to achieve that success in the first place. And never mind that unlike what the media and politicians would have us believe, the reality of public opinion is far more nuanced than the views expressed by Rosen, former Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum or anyone else whose future depends on soundbites and headline journalism.

What’s more interesting—and discouraging—is the amount of time that media outlets and politicians spend defining and assigning the values and priorities they think “women” want. And the more time they spend pandering to what they assume are women’s attitudes toward working, family life, reproductive rights, the ethics of medical research techniques and a host of other issues, the more foolish they look.

These latest transparent attempts to drum up enthusiasm for a supposed “war on women” are absurd. Feminists want to stay relevant in an era when women are achieving more than any other time in human history (in the United States … we’re not talking about Afghanistan). And Democrats, experts at the backhanded compliment and anxious to carry over the Occupy Wall Street wave of populism into the election, are using women as pawns in a nasty election year class warfare battle. 

As a lifelong Republican and hybrid stay-home-cum-working mom, I find that insulting. Women have already defined their own unique roles because of the feminist’s favorite word: choice.

How much longer are we going to allow our political parties to hijack common sense? For example, I challenge you to find anyone who disagrees with the following statements:

  1. The government shouldn’t spend more money than it takes in.
  2. What goes on in your neighbor’s bedroom is their own business.
  3. Our tax laws are unfair, labyrinthine and punitive.
  4. The sooner we rid ourselves of our dependence on oil, the safer we will be.
  5. The U.S. Congress should subject itself to the same rules as those they govern.
  6. Welfare is a not a reasonable lifestyle choice, and it's sometimes abused.
  7. Set goals and work hard. And if you fail, work harder.

When we let Hilary Rosen’s ill-considered comment become a national conversation, we are losing focus on the issues that really matter, and not just to women. Newsflash: Women have already decided for themselves how they feel about the issues of the day. We don’t need Hilary Rosen or Rick Santorum or anyone else to elucidate our own private views.

As many Fairfield County women already know, finance is a demanding career and that's why financial executives earn more on average than most other professionals. Why aren’t we celebrating the fact that Mitt and Ann Romney made sacrifices early on in their lives so that she could stay home full time and raise their family? Regardless of income, staying home by yourself at night with five kids while your husband is traveling, finishing up a big deal or entertaining a client is isolating, hard work.

Successful families—such as the Romneys and the Obamas—work as a team. We should be pointing to them as examples of what can go right when hard work and personal choice meet in the greatest country in the world. We should not be whining that Ann never worked and Mitt is a child of privilege and oh my God, Republicans are going to make abortion illegal and put women back in 1955!

Spare us the rhetoric, please.

The women I know don’t have time for this nonsense. They're figuring out how they can get themselves and their families ahead. They spend their free time encouraging their kids to study, volunteer, play sports and develop relationships in the communities in which they live, so they can earn the respect of others and become high achieving adults. It doesn’t matter if you live in Weston or Detroit or East Podunk, Arkansas.

Kids, spend your time doing worthwhile activities instead of partying and perhaps one day it will be you that’s part of the 1 percent. It’s just that simple. Let’s keep the discussion focused on how we can help kids become successful, productive adults, as opposed to how we can maintain an unproductive class warfare battle. Because that’s why people hate politics.

And if you read this and you’re a woman, I bet you knew that already. And you’ll move on with your day, because you have miles to go before you sleep.

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feo mesics May 23, 2013 at 10:50 am
Where DIDN'T you learn to write?? Jane Himmel May 22, 2013 at 01:27 pm "This has CONVINCED MYRead More GROWING CONVICTION that Patch has moved complete..."
Jane Himmel May 22, 2013 at 01:40 pm
I just called Staples. This is really disturbing to me. If I don't get a satisfactory answer, IRead More will let people know and I will also decide whether to continue shopping there. I do not like to give my money to unethical businesses.
Jane Himmel May 22, 2013 at 01:27 pm
This has convinced my growing conviction that Patch has moved completely away from any pretense ofRead More being a news source and is simply an electronic bulletin board. By abandoning their prior procedure of approving posts before they go up, they are letting anything go on and then taking them down if they're reported. By then, it's too late: the poster has gotten their message across during the time it's in the lineup. I only check in with Patch occasionally now and so many people in town won't read it at all anymore. I think we need to be honest with ourselves about what kind of a public forum this venue is. This doesn't reflect well on Staples if they are using subterfuge and violating Terms of Use on Patch either.
Lauren May 24, 2013 at 10:29 pm
Tom, the tree warden doesn't just "put in trees and take them down" just like that. ThereRead More is a reason behind every tree that has come down or gone up. Whats with this town and trees anyway? It seems like a huge source of controversy...they are TREES.
Lauren May 23, 2013 at 08:09 am
if they had done it at night at least it wouldn't have been smudged. BUT, i happen to think itsRead More nice, and especially with the flags hanging. we forget we are a small new england town, and small things like the red white and blue stripes remind me that we still are! :)
Hollywood2 May 22, 2013 at 10:05 pm
Somebody is pretending to be me again. On June 6 we remember D-Day. Thanks again to all our vetsRead More on Memorial Day and D-Day. That's a real reason to celebrate the week.