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Schools

Can Meanness Be Stopped?

Names Can Really Hurt Us awareness day at NCHS on Tuesday

Slut. Freak. Pig. Loser. The words are all fine to print in a community Web site, but when one student uses them to describe another, they can carry a sting that can last a lifetime.

Getting students to realize just how harmful name-calling can be is the focus of New Canaan High School's full-day "Names Can Really Hurt Us" program Tuesday for ninth and tenth graders.

"Names Can Really Hurt Us" is a program sponsored nationwide by the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) to promote sensitivity to meanness and name-calling. The program is designed to increase awareness of meanness, bigotry and prejudice in and out of school.

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According to Larry Sullivan, assistant principal and one of three chairs spearheading the event, the idea is to "raise awareness and get a dialogue going about mean behavior," whether committed in person or on Web sites. All kids, says Sullivan, have experienced meanness, either as perpetrators, targets, bystanders or allies. "We have to raise students' sensitivities. Being passive can be hurtful too," he declares. "We do live in a culture where meanness has gotten a lot of attention. We're battling against that. Anything we do to affect a positive change is valuable."

On Tuesday, the day will begin with an assembly for 700 ninth and tenth graders, led by panelists in the eleventh and twelfth grades. The student panelists will tell their stories of meanness, analyzing their roles as perpetrators, targets, bystanders, or allies. The 70 students and 50 faculty members who signed up for the program received seven hours of training by teams from ADL.

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Following the panelists, students in the audience will be encouraged to speak out about their experiences with meanness. In the afternoon, breakout sessions of  20 students each will be led by the junior and senior facilitators.

The goal is to come up with a plan that can change students from bystanders into allies, who will not be afraid to speak out or intervene against meanness. Sullivan is hopeful that "we can open them up to challenging" meanness and prejudice.

While New Canaan High has a predominantly white population, it also includes Latino, Asian and African-American students. Sullivan reports that name-calling cuts across all groups and socio-economic status. Meanness can take many forms and be found across a broad spectrum; for instance, it even can be based on athletic ability.

This is the first time that NCHS is doing the ADL program, but "we have always tried to fight meanness," Sullivan notes. "But this is doing it on a larger scale. We are taking half our population to look at this problem. This is the start of the dialogue that will be continued through the rest of their years at New Canaan High."

Sullivan sees this as a win-win situation. "Giving kids the skills to confront mean behavior will benefit all of us," he said. As an educator, Sullivan points out that "there is always a teachable moment," when a student can understand what he did wrong and why he would choose not to do it again. "That student can become a role model for other students."

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